he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
