I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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