Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
