my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
