birth control should be required to get into college
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
the liver wants what the liver wants
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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