This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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