we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
