Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Who died my cat blue again?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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