I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
