Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Can Purell be used as lube?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
