i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
