U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
