I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We had to coat check the pizza.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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