carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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