i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
