fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
