I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
