What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
