I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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