I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
