So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
