Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
either way he was missing a nipple.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
