It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
