Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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