he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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