I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
