hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize