just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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