I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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