a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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