Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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