I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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