I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
