Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
