What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
