ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize