i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
