Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize