the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
