Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
