why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
my nose is crying tears of wow.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
