I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
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