so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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