you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize