great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
