I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
