i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
