So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
