don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
