I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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