He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It was like getting head from an anaconda
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
