Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I FOUND THE LEGS
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
