Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
