So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
