He is such a slut. More and more my type.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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