There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
