Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
