Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
