I hate all girls vehemently.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
