I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
